As a single girl who feels like she has met all the local prospects, I recently turned to online dating, along with a good friend. We've been on the site about 5 months and have met a few people. But mainly, we have learned a lot about the broad range of, let's say girl-getting abilities, of men on the online-dating scene. As such, we have compiled a list of tips for the online guy-about-town to help him fetch the woman of his dreams.
-Read the girl's profile. I don't like animals. And I say this, clearly, in my profile. However, that does not restrain boys from sending me all sorts of messages about how great their dogs are, and how they can't wait for me to meet their dogs. Also, asking a list of questions that could all have been easily answered by looking at more than my picture, is just bothersome.
-A good opening is key. "Hey." "What's up?" and "How ya doin'" as the only content of the message are all signals that the person writing the message probably has difficulty keeping up a conversation, and maybe communicates mostly in grunts and pointing.
-Creativity gives you bonus points. Although any girl will be flattered by "gosh, your smile is so pretty! Let's talk and be friends," she will be so much more charmed if you can make a joke that references one of her interests, or if you share information that isn't already in your profile.
-Don't ask her why she's single. The only possible responses to that question will embarrass her and make you lose interest. If she's being honest and replies "I have 13 cats" or "I seem cute at first but then morph into a clingy whiny awful person," then the relationship effectively stalls at the starting gate.
-Be polite. Don't make disparaging remarks about interests or future career goals. No one likes to be insulted, and online insults are just gross. Stop this immediately.
-Pictures. Wear clothes, first of all. Next, find someone to take your picture or at the very VERY least never again take one in front of the bathroom mirror. Additionally, if you are in your bedroom taking this picture- clean up! Girls don't want to see your dirty laundry and old dishes in the background of your photo. Finally, this should go without saying, but don't post pictures of you with your ex-girlfriend. We don't want to see you kissing other girls, unless you're giving mouth-to-mouth because you are a certified EMT.
-Grammar is your secret weapon. No girl is intrigued by a man who sends a message as follows "hey hows it goin im steve* btw". Capitalization, punctuation, spelling, and sentences with a beginning, middle, and end are all crucial elements when writing messages that girls will respond to.
*names changed to protect the illiterate
-Don't over-share. Too many guys begin their profile with a rant, a whine, or a warning. All of these should be avoided. Beginning your profile with a rant automatically makes you seem confrontational and aggressive, neither of which are oft-desired qualities. Actual example of a rant- "so sick of girls who can't just stay with the great man who would give them everything if they only gave them half a chance and didn't run around with every other guy in town."
As for the whine, my personal favorite is "I'm still hung up on my last girl. She was my one and only, and I don't think that I will ever be able to love again. So don't expect me to be able to fall for you." Then why are you on a dating site, may I ask? Also, lists of why all girls are awful is also a terrible way to begin.
And finally, the warning. "I recently gained a lot of weight so I've begun a new exercise program," really just says to us "Ignore all of the photos I have on here, as they are about a year old. But don't worry! I spent a ton of money on P90X and I may even do it once or twice!"
This post may be the first in a series. Every time I think I've seen it all, some guy steps up to the plate and amazes me once again.
However, don't get me wrong! Overall, online dating has been a great experience. I've met tons of cool people and even a few of those in person. I always proceed with utmost regard for my safety, and although not every message I receive is from the ideal guy, online dating is nothing if not entertaining. I would definitely recommend it to anyone looking for love, or a whole inbox full of fun and flattering messages!
